THE MYTH OF SOCIALIZATION AND THE VALUE OF PLAY

The one objection critics of homeschooling cite most frequently is that of "Socialization". These opponents of the homeschooling movement claim that by teaching our children at home we are isolating them from the world and thus producing a whole segment of society that is devoid of any clear understanding of how to relate to others. Usually, these "professionals" (Educators or psychologists) will cite their personal experiences with one or two dysfunctional families who happen to have been homeschoolers as proof that there is a problem with the whole concept. However, when studied as a whole, the homeschooling community has proven again and again that the percentage of children with healthy self-esteem, good social skills, and an ability and desire to learn is much larger than that of the general population. And, conversely, the percentage of socially dysfunctional people turned out by homeschooling is far smaller than the general population. Beside the fact that most homeschoolers do make sure that their children get to "socialize" with other children, the fact of the matter is that the kind of socialization children get in schools is not the most appropriate for producing healthy young adults. In fact, what we are seeing is that the public school system is doing a great job of producing a whole segment of society that has learned how to bully their way into getting what they want and that what they want is the most important objective. We are seeing a tremendous loss of respect for others — for their person and well as their property. The American Creed, "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness" does have a caveat, although seldom expressed. That is, that one is entitled to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness so long as it does not impinge on another’s right to the same. In other words, one may do whatever one pleases as long as it does not hurt anyone else. But it seems that in this day and age, we are producing young people who know nothing about that caveat....who know nothing of respect for another person’s rights.

On the contrary, homeschooling in general by its very nature teaches children how to function normally within society. The family being a microcosm of Society at large, is the perfect training ground for future citizens. With an adequate amount of parental supervision (the legal definition of homeschooling is one parent providing at least 51% of the educational instruction of a child, although their are some exceptions to that), homeschooled children learn that they cannot bully people around (few parents allow that kind of behavior in their own home). They learn that there are many tasks that one must do, whether or not they enjoy them, simply because they must be done. They learn about fiscal responsibility watching parents shop, balance the checkbook, etc. I could go on and on about what children learn when they learn at home. The point is that home is the best place for children to receive socialization.

What is Socialization? Most experts would agree that socialization is the process of preparing someone to be able to function adequately within society. Unfortunately, that is not the definition most people think of. Most people think that the word "socialization" means being able to spend time with or play with friends. If that is the case, then traditional schools are the worst place for one to socialize. Parents do not send their kids to school to socialize — children at school are discouraged from talking, passing notes or even sitting next to their friends (in some cases). If one were to use the popular definition of socialization, homeschooling provides many more opportunities for socialization than school does. And at the same time, if one were to use the more correct definition of socialization, traditional schools again pale in comparison to the homeschool setting. In society we see people who have to interact with people of all ages. A woman in her thirties not only has to relate to her parents and grandparents, she also has to deal with her children that range in age from infant to teenager. This same woman has to know how to communicate with her Rabbi who may be in his fifties and the babysitter who is a young adult. This same woman has to deal with the young adult clerk at the grocery store and her good friend down the street who is in her forties. Society is not made up of small groups of people all the same age. Because of this, the old fashioned traditional one room school-house was a far better training ground for future citizens than the current form of traditional school. Lacking a one room schoolhouse, homeschooling may be the best place for one to receive socialization.

I am not saying that we should abolish the traditional school systems, for some people they work great. For others, it is the only way that their children can get an education. For yet others, there is no choice in the matter, no other option. However, what I am saying is that it is about time that people realize that homeschooling is a good alternative to traditional schooling for those of us who chose to do so.

My dear friend Celia Greenberg says that the critics are right, there is a socialization problem when it comes to homeschooling. But, says Celia, the problem is not for the children....it is for the parent who is doing the homeschooling. Hence, the title of my article, "The Myth of Socialization and the Value of Play".

Most parents can tell you that children of all ages benefit from play. Little babies learn about the world and how it works through play. Children play and it builds pathways in the brain that enable them to learn better. Teenagers play as a form of release from all the tensions that a rapidly growing body and newly raging hormones can wreak on a persons emotions. But what about adults? Does the need for play end when we grow up? I do not believe that to be the case. On the contrary, I see play as a valuable part of adult life that many of us leave out because we do not believe that we have the time. And yet, I think that if we took that time, we would find that we feel less pressured in other areas of our life and more able to cope with the trials that life throws our way.

Play allows us to interact with other adults. Play allows us to decompress - a vital part of the rest and revitalization that our bodies as well as our minds need.

To this end, I would like to see more families within the homeschooling community here trying to make more time to be together, get to know each other, and just play!